I know I've neglected this place for a few months, but there's good reason behind it:
1. I'm lazy and entertaining people is a pain in the ass. Every time I say something funny someone gets offended, and I don't want that so I try to limit what I say. After I strip all the offensive material from the articles there's nothing left but empty words and broken dreams. But I've devised a simple solution to this: If you don't like what I say, close the tab (or window), shut down your computer and never connect to the Internet again.
2. I tend to procrastinate about everything. I even made another blog about it, but I hardly post there anymore. When I wake up in the morning I think "I should write an article for Rich Magazine" but my hands say "Let's play San Andreas!" They usually win. The solution for this: I bought one of those electric dog collars that I wear.....um somewhere very sensitive and every time I play GTA or Diablo instead of working I administer a violent shock. I'll admit I liked it at first, but after the 30th time, it really hurts.
3. No one is contributing! I know Dan is (or at least was) working on a story, which sounded really good, and Erika promised to send me something a while back. Some other friends also promised to write, but haven't. I haven't really gotten back to any of them though, and I don't really give people a lot incentive to write. The solution to this: Free um, uh, stuff to everyone who writes a good article!*
4. I have self diagnosed social anxiety disorder. I can't even go hang out with some friends because I panic and obsess over what they think of me. (For those people who always ask why I never hang around with them, this is why) Believe it or not, Rich Magazine is a social place, with the feedback and not, and it makes me terribly nervous. I'm terrified of letting people know who I am because most of them are going to be douche bags and throw me out eventually and I don't like the concept. I don't really have a solution for this. I just have to get over it.
I hope that cleared up some things.
* "Free stuff" includes and is limited to your choice of a hug or handshake, belly button lint, a phone or IM conversation, a glass of water, a pat on the back, a handful of pennies, a slice of month old pizza, an official Rich Moore autograph, or a tarot card reading.
Article by Rich Moore
Monday, March 26, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Mundane Computer Lecture #1
So I've been using Linux as my only operating system for a few weeks and I'm starting to wonder why people run Windows. Well, maybe I can think of a few reasons people are scared to stray away from their beloved monstrosity.
Linux is different: No shit. It's not Windows, nor does it try to be. That's like saying you can't drive a BMW 740i because you've been driving a Dodge Neon your whole life.
Emotional Attachment: I don't understand this at all. People get so attached to their OS that they completely ignore it's flaws, no matter how crippling. Why can't I directly mount an ISO file in Windows? Geez. if you like Windows so much, why don't you marry it?
Habit: So what if you're used to doing everything in Windows? Before I was potty trained I shat in my pants, but I adjusted and let me tell you, the toilet is a Hell of a lot better.
It's not user friendly: Have you ever tried to install Windows? What's so friendly about that?
Software Dependency: You don't need Microsoft Word. No, you don't. Dozens of programs can access Word files. Get over it.
It's Confusing: No, it's straightforward. No assigning partitions random letters and masking everything behind a shiny, but misleading interface.
Price Tag: Ever hear the phrase 'You get what you pay for?' It's a lie. Think about this: Are you going to drop $600 to buy Windows Vista?
Hardware Dependency: No Linux drivers for your [insert device here]? No problem. Linux will probably come with one anyway. Unlike Windows, Plug and Play actually works in Linux.
Security: Self replicating viruses are amazing from a programming standpoint. Not so much when you get one. You won't in Linux. Ever.
So if you still don't want to give Linux a chance, that's fine. Just don't run to me (or someone like me) to fix your Windows installation.
Half Assed Rant by Rich Moore
Linux is different: No shit. It's not Windows, nor does it try to be. That's like saying you can't drive a BMW 740i because you've been driving a Dodge Neon your whole life.
Emotional Attachment: I don't understand this at all. People get so attached to their OS that they completely ignore it's flaws, no matter how crippling. Why can't I directly mount an ISO file in Windows? Geez. if you like Windows so much, why don't you marry it?
Habit: So what if you're used to doing everything in Windows? Before I was potty trained I shat in my pants, but I adjusted and let me tell you, the toilet is a Hell of a lot better.
It's not user friendly: Have you ever tried to install Windows? What's so friendly about that?
Software Dependency: You don't need Microsoft Word. No, you don't. Dozens of programs can access Word files. Get over it.
It's Confusing: No, it's straightforward. No assigning partitions random letters and masking everything behind a shiny, but misleading interface.
Price Tag: Ever hear the phrase 'You get what you pay for?' It's a lie. Think about this: Are you going to drop $600 to buy Windows Vista?
Hardware Dependency: No Linux drivers for your [insert device here]? No problem. Linux will probably come with one anyway. Unlike Windows, Plug and Play actually works in Linux.
Security: Self replicating viruses are amazing from a programming standpoint. Not so much when you get one. You won't in Linux. Ever.
So if you still don't want to give Linux a chance, that's fine. Just don't run to me (or someone like me) to fix your Windows installation.
Half Assed Rant by Rich Moore
Monday, January 08, 2007
The Woes of Wifi
Although wifi is a relatively new technology (at least new enough to be inadequately supported on less popular platforms), it's limitations far outweigh the small amount of convenience we get out of it. Sure, the ability to connect to the Internet without having to use a Cat5 cable is nice, as long as you're close enough to your access point. The severely limited range of the wifi signal shatters the illusion of freedom and makes you feel as though there is a virtual cable attached to your machine, locking you into a rough 30 meter sphere.
Wifi is also a far too ambiguous technology. Instead of having a standardized chipset like other technologies (namely serial, parallel, USB, and firewire ports), there are upwards of 12 different wifi chipsets, many of which won't work with a generic driver. Some chipsets won't work with some operating systems and other hardware, and many manufacturers omit critical drivers for certain operating systems, favoring to provide more support for those who need it-naive Windows users. There is no need for these manufacturers to make things so hard on those who stray away from Windows, but they do.
To replace wifi on a large scale, I have a few possible solutions (listed in order of feasibility):
Massive wifi access towers placed at strategic locations around the globe (starting with countries who are willing to pay for it, of course). We have FM radio towers scattered everywhere. We have cellular phone towers scattered everywhere. Why can't we build towers with high power wifi transceivers on them? Or better yet, add wifi access points to existing cellular towers? That would cut the cost dramatically and eliminate the strategy involved in finding appropriate spots for new towers. These terrestrial antennas could provide millions of people with much needed Internet access, almost anywhere they venture.
The second possibility is also based on an existing technology; satellites orbiting the globe provide almost every means of communication. Television, radio, phone, and even Internet access are being delivered by great machines in the sky as you read this. The problem is that a connection to the Internet via satellite is incredibly expensive because service providers are driven by old fashioned capitalism and want to recuperate the cost of their million dollar investment. For a solution, we should look to NASA. They launch things into space all the time at the expense of tax payers, so why not satellites designed to deliver Internet access to anyone with a small dish?
Article by Rich Moore
Wifi is also a far too ambiguous technology. Instead of having a standardized chipset like other technologies (namely serial, parallel, USB, and firewire ports), there are upwards of 12 different wifi chipsets, many of which won't work with a generic driver. Some chipsets won't work with some operating systems and other hardware, and many manufacturers omit critical drivers for certain operating systems, favoring to provide more support for those who need it-naive Windows users. There is no need for these manufacturers to make things so hard on those who stray away from Windows, but they do.
To replace wifi on a large scale, I have a few possible solutions (listed in order of feasibility):
Massive wifi access towers placed at strategic locations around the globe (starting with countries who are willing to pay for it, of course). We have FM radio towers scattered everywhere. We have cellular phone towers scattered everywhere. Why can't we build towers with high power wifi transceivers on them? Or better yet, add wifi access points to existing cellular towers? That would cut the cost dramatically and eliminate the strategy involved in finding appropriate spots for new towers. These terrestrial antennas could provide millions of people with much needed Internet access, almost anywhere they venture.
The second possibility is also based on an existing technology; satellites orbiting the globe provide almost every means of communication. Television, radio, phone, and even Internet access are being delivered by great machines in the sky as you read this. The problem is that a connection to the Internet via satellite is incredibly expensive because service providers are driven by old fashioned capitalism and want to recuperate the cost of their million dollar investment. For a solution, we should look to NASA. They launch things into space all the time at the expense of tax payers, so why not satellites designed to deliver Internet access to anyone with a small dish?
Article by Rich Moore
Friday, December 15, 2006
Schrodinger's Box
This is the last time I bulk food from a Chinese warehouse store. Not only am I still hungry, but now I have an extra cat.
She's hungry too.
Image by Rich Moore
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The Good, the Bad, and the Flamible
Bad things happen. Stubbing your toe hurts, and so does nuclear war. Some bad things are just worse than others, it’s one of those nice little perks the universe has given us. But while we can’t control some things that happen, we are in control of how we deal with it.
Ah, April of ’99. To be so young and care free again. It was spring break and like any other kid, I was off my ass, out of the house and with friends. Particularly Joe, my good friend from Marine city. Him and I have a lot in common. Back then, we would spend hours on end in front of a TV playing video games. Nothing has changed, but that’s what we used to do. We both were riding the Single Train and loving it. Mainly because we didn’t know how bad it sucked. Us two have always been a pair, a team, partners in crime…
One day, for some reason, we weren’t sitting in front of a screen with a controller in our hands, but walking in the field across the road from my grandma Margaret’s house. She was a nice old lady, always had cookies for people to eat and called me Dennis for some reason. We wondered the path that was familiar to us, talking mindlessly of things that weren’t of any importance. Joe asked to see the lighter in my pocket. Wait, why did I have a lighter in my pocket? I didn’t smoke or anything… Oh, that’s right. Fire is cool.
So Joe took the lighter and we momentarily split paths. He went off into the tall grass and I went towards some shiny thing in the distance. Turns out it was a can of beer. But as I examined that can of Molson’s, I heard a cry that would change the rest of my life. Apparently, Joe had picked the fluffy end of a tall weed and set if on fire. He thought it was out and dropped it on the ground. If you remember spring of 1999, you’ll remember that it was a dry, bone dry spring. And fire tends to like things that are dry. Oops.
When I got to Joe, the ring of fire on the ground was big enough to safely park a Harley in.
“What… did… you… DO?”
“I-I-I thought it was out and I dropped it…”
We needed a plan, but none came to mind. We panicked, swore profusely, and tried reasoning with God… nothing. By this time, you could have fit a minivan on the burnt part of the ground. I was sweating like a fat kid in a burning feild. We knew we couldn’t do anything. It was helpless. Now, I could go into how my Grandma called the fire department, or how my Aunt Darlene just stood their and said “Hey, the field’s on fire.” Or how Joe and I flipped out in the basement, thinking of how we'll never leave this place alive. But I like the cold, hard numbers. After about two hours, close to 35 acres had burned. 16 fire trucks form three different divisions, two cops cars and an ambulance lined the street. The channel 7 News helicopter swooped by for a nice little camera shot. It got played on TV right before the Michigan State Basketball Riots.
Once the atmosphere had calmed down, I went outside to look at what I had help do. Thankfully, the fire stopped eight feet before the barn, which house several tons of hay and my uncles camper, fully loaded with gasoline and propane to be used in the coming summer. Had the fire touched the barn, the whole thing would have exploded. And luckily, my dad was smart enough to jump on a tractor and plow under the field by the forest so that too didn’t go ablaze. I was glad to see my dad on that tractor. I wasn’t glad to see my mom pull into the driveway.
Nature has it’s ways of making sure crimes don’t go unpunished. King Hamurabi had a code of laws set in stone that kept justice in his kingdom by chopping off the hand of those who steal. On the island of Hawaii, the goddess Paelae would smite those who hurt her lands by bringing down lava and rock form the mountains. And then, there’s my mother. While she may only stand five feet tall, she’s five feet of pure punishment. Though I haven’t seen it, I’m pretty sure she could take a man twice her size.
She saw me as she got out of the van and headed right towards me. Even though there were plenty of armed cops around, that would not have stopped her from killing me, right on the spot. She looked like a prison warden and I was the death row inmate.
Fifteen feet away. Man, there was something I wanted to watch on TV tonight…
Ten feet… I’m never going t eat ice cream again, am I?
Five feet… I’m going to die a virgin.
She reached me and looked me right in the eye. The last thing I was going to see was the look of pure anger. She took a deep breath in. Inhale, kill, exhale, simple as that. But then… she hugged me. The same hands I was sure were going to snap my neck were now embracing me. "Don't question it," I thought, "as long as she isn't ending you, keep your mouth shut."
She has yet to trust me with a lighter, to this very day. And what about Joe? He got off somewhat easy, but his parents told him if he ever did anything so stupid again, they would kill him. But, people have moved on. You have to, or else things like this will get to you. Don’t focus on the negative, look at the bright side of things. More than likely, after the dust settles, you too will be able to eat ice cream again.
Story by Dan Simons
Ah, April of ’99. To be so young and care free again. It was spring break and like any other kid, I was off my ass, out of the house and with friends. Particularly Joe, my good friend from Marine city. Him and I have a lot in common. Back then, we would spend hours on end in front of a TV playing video games. Nothing has changed, but that’s what we used to do. We both were riding the Single Train and loving it. Mainly because we didn’t know how bad it sucked. Us two have always been a pair, a team, partners in crime…
One day, for some reason, we weren’t sitting in front of a screen with a controller in our hands, but walking in the field across the road from my grandma Margaret’s house. She was a nice old lady, always had cookies for people to eat and called me Dennis for some reason. We wondered the path that was familiar to us, talking mindlessly of things that weren’t of any importance. Joe asked to see the lighter in my pocket. Wait, why did I have a lighter in my pocket? I didn’t smoke or anything… Oh, that’s right. Fire is cool.
So Joe took the lighter and we momentarily split paths. He went off into the tall grass and I went towards some shiny thing in the distance. Turns out it was a can of beer. But as I examined that can of Molson’s, I heard a cry that would change the rest of my life. Apparently, Joe had picked the fluffy end of a tall weed and set if on fire. He thought it was out and dropped it on the ground. If you remember spring of 1999, you’ll remember that it was a dry, bone dry spring. And fire tends to like things that are dry. Oops.
When I got to Joe, the ring of fire on the ground was big enough to safely park a Harley in.
“What… did… you… DO?”
“I-I-I thought it was out and I dropped it…”
We needed a plan, but none came to mind. We panicked, swore profusely, and tried reasoning with God… nothing. By this time, you could have fit a minivan on the burnt part of the ground. I was sweating like a fat kid in a burning feild. We knew we couldn’t do anything. It was helpless. Now, I could go into how my Grandma called the fire department, or how my Aunt Darlene just stood their and said “Hey, the field’s on fire.” Or how Joe and I flipped out in the basement, thinking of how we'll never leave this place alive. But I like the cold, hard numbers. After about two hours, close to 35 acres had burned. 16 fire trucks form three different divisions, two cops cars and an ambulance lined the street. The channel 7 News helicopter swooped by for a nice little camera shot. It got played on TV right before the Michigan State Basketball Riots.
Once the atmosphere had calmed down, I went outside to look at what I had help do. Thankfully, the fire stopped eight feet before the barn, which house several tons of hay and my uncles camper, fully loaded with gasoline and propane to be used in the coming summer. Had the fire touched the barn, the whole thing would have exploded. And luckily, my dad was smart enough to jump on a tractor and plow under the field by the forest so that too didn’t go ablaze. I was glad to see my dad on that tractor. I wasn’t glad to see my mom pull into the driveway.
Nature has it’s ways of making sure crimes don’t go unpunished. King Hamurabi had a code of laws set in stone that kept justice in his kingdom by chopping off the hand of those who steal. On the island of Hawaii, the goddess Paelae would smite those who hurt her lands by bringing down lava and rock form the mountains. And then, there’s my mother. While she may only stand five feet tall, she’s five feet of pure punishment. Though I haven’t seen it, I’m pretty sure she could take a man twice her size.
She saw me as she got out of the van and headed right towards me. Even though there were plenty of armed cops around, that would not have stopped her from killing me, right on the spot. She looked like a prison warden and I was the death row inmate.
Fifteen feet away. Man, there was something I wanted to watch on TV tonight…
Ten feet… I’m never going t eat ice cream again, am I?
Five feet… I’m going to die a virgin.
She reached me and looked me right in the eye. The last thing I was going to see was the look of pure anger. She took a deep breath in. Inhale, kill, exhale, simple as that. But then… she hugged me. The same hands I was sure were going to snap my neck were now embracing me. "Don't question it," I thought, "as long as she isn't ending you, keep your mouth shut."
She has yet to trust me with a lighter, to this very day. And what about Joe? He got off somewhat easy, but his parents told him if he ever did anything so stupid again, they would kill him. But, people have moved on. You have to, or else things like this will get to you. Don’t focus on the negative, look at the bright side of things. More than likely, after the dust settles, you too will be able to eat ice cream again.
Story by Dan Simons
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Holiday Woes
Thanksgiving is such a hollow holiday. What's the point in spending all day cooking a big, expensive piece of poultry just to have it eaten by a family that you feel obligated to be invite to dinner? Nine out of ten people can't even tell you the true meaning of the day. Not that it matters anyway, because the "true meaning" of Thanksgiving was distorted by Franklin Roosevelt during the depression to help stimulate the economy. It's kind of like modern day Christmas is about giving and getting rather than the Holy Spirit and whatnot.
The beginning of Christmas is, of course, marked by Thanksgiving. From here until the 25th of December people will be frantically shopping, caroling, and otherwise spreading "holiday joy." Does Christmas really need a whole month to build up to inevitable disappointment and failure? Christmas should start on December 25 and end the same day. Put up the tree in the morning and take it down at night. That would be so much better than the whole month and a half long greedfest that it is now.
Black Friday, however is a great day. It combines spectacular deals with melee combat shopping to create a really great time for everyone. When else can you get $1000 worth of merchandise for $400 or less? That is, assuming you get in line at 5 AM and wait around for the store to open. Online deals are great too, but you have to be a pretty fast clicker online at exactly midnight to get anything worthwhile.
Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a nice, big dinner to eat.
Article by Rich Moore
The beginning of Christmas is, of course, marked by Thanksgiving. From here until the 25th of December people will be frantically shopping, caroling, and otherwise spreading "holiday joy." Does Christmas really need a whole month to build up to inevitable disappointment and failure? Christmas should start on December 25 and end the same day. Put up the tree in the morning and take it down at night. That would be so much better than the whole month and a half long greedfest that it is now.
Black Friday, however is a great day. It combines spectacular deals with melee combat shopping to create a really great time for everyone. When else can you get $1000 worth of merchandise for $400 or less? That is, assuming you get in line at 5 AM and wait around for the store to open. Online deals are great too, but you have to be a pretty fast clicker online at exactly midnight to get anything worthwhile.
Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a nice, big dinner to eat.
Article by Rich Moore
Monday, November 13, 2006
If I Was Jack Thompson
Here are just a few of the things I might be inclined to say if I was Jack Thompson:
Easy Bake Ovens cause young girls to become homemakers, rather than valuable members of society.
Still cameras cause children to develop voyeurism fetishes.
Computers cause children to become super hackers, who will inevitably destroy everything we know.
Automobiles train kids to perform hit and runs, and in severe cases, drive-by shootings.
Audio equipment gives kids unfounded hope that they can one day become a musician.
Money turns our youth into cash crazed criminals.
No one hits anyone in the head with a wrench unless they're a hitman or a mechanic.
Baby dolls are a pedophile's paradise.
"Better Homes and Gardens" contains beds, hot tubs, kitchen tables, shag carpeting, gardens, and loveseats, all of which can be used in sexual situations, and thus should be banished to the darkest corner of 'adult entertainment' stores.
Using shampoo is an escapist activity and you’re being exploited by these companies. It's not healthy.
Mattel has led the planet in the distribution of mainstream porn.
Do you need an IQ below room temp to watch TV and talk about it?
Halloween makeup kits are nothing more than prostitution simulators.
BMW is not a word, as it is in serious need of a vowel movement.
Carpet gives our kids unrealistic expectations for their feet.
God is not pleased with Lays Potato Chips right now.
Article by Rich Moore
Easy Bake Ovens cause young girls to become homemakers, rather than valuable members of society.
Still cameras cause children to develop voyeurism fetishes.
Computers cause children to become super hackers, who will inevitably destroy everything we know.
Automobiles train kids to perform hit and runs, and in severe cases, drive-by shootings.
Audio equipment gives kids unfounded hope that they can one day become a musician.
Money turns our youth into cash crazed criminals.
No one hits anyone in the head with a wrench unless they're a hitman or a mechanic.
Baby dolls are a pedophile's paradise.
"Better Homes and Gardens" contains beds, hot tubs, kitchen tables, shag carpeting, gardens, and loveseats, all of which can be used in sexual situations, and thus should be banished to the darkest corner of 'adult entertainment' stores.
Using shampoo is an escapist activity and you’re being exploited by these companies. It's not healthy.
Mattel has led the planet in the distribution of mainstream porn.
Do you need an IQ below room temp to watch TV and talk about it?
Halloween makeup kits are nothing more than prostitution simulators.
BMW is not a word, as it is in serious need of a vowel movement.
Carpet gives our kids unrealistic expectations for their feet.
God is not pleased with Lays Potato Chips right now.
Article by Rich Moore
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
A Glance Into the Future: Trees
Are trees really necessary in today's society? They block helpful rays of light from the sun, impede our ability to build shelter, and shed small parts of themselves on a yearly basis. Trees are an easy target to become a home for pests such as squirrels, stray cats, and birds. In the opinion of top scientific minds (i.e. myself) the costs of trees in Earth's current stage of development greatly outweigh the benefits.
Many people will probably whine something like: "But trees are needed to make oxygen to breathe. Blah. Blah. Blah." The truth is that all plants produce oxygen, no matter how small. The oxygen produced by the average sized lawn is likely sufficient to sustain the family who owns it. Many people have flower gardens in their yard, all of which produce oxygen. Even having a few houseplants sitting around would provide oxygen that could be used to sustain life. This is all assuming our society will still rely on plants to provide oxygen for us in upcoming years.
Machines exist that can mimic plants' natural ability to convert carbon dioxide into breathing oxygen. All we have to do is invest some money into building these facilities somewhere out of the way, say underground. That way we can utilize the entire surface of the planet without worrying about cutting down rainforests and the such. Not only will this increase the amount of people our planet can support and aid in the relief of overpopulation, but it will also dramatically decrease the amount of greenhouse gasses produced by lawn care machines.
Many people would also argue that trees have a natural beauty that magically gives them some worth. The beauty of a tree, however can be expressed in a simple non-linear equation and reproduced infinitely in three dimensions using existing computer technology. Why have one or two physical trees outside your house when you can have any number of virtual trees accessible from the comfort of your favorite chair?
Considering these points, I think we can all agree that trees are a thing of the past and are only standing in the way of the natural progression of our struggling planet.
Article by Rich Moore
Many people will probably whine something like: "But trees are needed to make oxygen to breathe. Blah. Blah. Blah." The truth is that all plants produce oxygen, no matter how small. The oxygen produced by the average sized lawn is likely sufficient to sustain the family who owns it. Many people have flower gardens in their yard, all of which produce oxygen. Even having a few houseplants sitting around would provide oxygen that could be used to sustain life. This is all assuming our society will still rely on plants to provide oxygen for us in upcoming years.
Machines exist that can mimic plants' natural ability to convert carbon dioxide into breathing oxygen. All we have to do is invest some money into building these facilities somewhere out of the way, say underground. That way we can utilize the entire surface of the planet without worrying about cutting down rainforests and the such. Not only will this increase the amount of people our planet can support and aid in the relief of overpopulation, but it will also dramatically decrease the amount of greenhouse gasses produced by lawn care machines.
Many people would also argue that trees have a natural beauty that magically gives them some worth. The beauty of a tree, however can be expressed in a simple non-linear equation and reproduced infinitely in three dimensions using existing computer technology. Why have one or two physical trees outside your house when you can have any number of virtual trees accessible from the comfort of your favorite chair?
Considering these points, I think we can all agree that trees are a thing of the past and are only standing in the way of the natural progression of our struggling planet.
Article by Rich Moore
Monday, October 30, 2006
Track Tagging: The Truth
This morning I was listening to a stream of music tagged 'heavy metal' by last.fm users when suddenly my ears were assaulted with the most obnoxious noise I'd ever heard. No, it wasn't random black noise from a corrupt stream or an especially violent death metal song. It was the awful singing of that superstar hack, Britney Spears. This disturbed me for three reasons: I hate Britney Spears, I hate pop, and I was only listening to tracks tagged metal.
It was obviously stupid to assume that people who subscribe to a music oriented service would be competent enough to know the difference between pop and metal. I mean there are quite a few similarities. For instance, both a pop section and a metal section are commonly found at record stores. Both genres can also be digitized in a variety of formats and then reproduced using a set of speakers. It's gotta be things like this that confuse people because there's no other way to confuse Britney Spears with Metallica or Rammstein.
The case could also be that whoever tagged the accused song inappropriately was just being an asshole. Which makes me wonder: just how much content on the Internet is tagged improperly? And why isn't there a better way of categorizing content yet? The answer to that is obvious. Deep down we all like to fuck with each other. Even web developers know this. Why do you think myspace was created?
Article by Rich Moore
It was obviously stupid to assume that people who subscribe to a music oriented service would be competent enough to know the difference between pop and metal. I mean there are quite a few similarities. For instance, both a pop section and a metal section are commonly found at record stores. Both genres can also be digitized in a variety of formats and then reproduced using a set of speakers. It's gotta be things like this that confuse people because there's no other way to confuse Britney Spears with Metallica or Rammstein.
The case could also be that whoever tagged the accused song inappropriately was just being an asshole. Which makes me wonder: just how much content on the Internet is tagged improperly? And why isn't there a better way of categorizing content yet? The answer to that is obvious. Deep down we all like to fuck with each other. Even web developers know this. Why do you think myspace was created?
Article by Rich Moore
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Mitch Hedberg on Donuts
"I bought a doughnut from a store and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. Man, I'll just give you money, then you give me the doughnut. End of transaction.
We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.
I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend:
Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's at home, in the file... under D... for doughnut."
Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Image by Rich Moore
We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.
I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend:
Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's at home, in the file... under D... for doughnut."
Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Image by Rich Moore
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Modern Solutions to an Antiqueted Problem
Why do we still use gasoline in our cars? We might as well use a steam engine or our feet. Fred Flinstone never had to worry about how far he could afford to travel. Seriously though, why do we put our lives in the hands of such antiquated machines? Would you trust traffic signals controlled by an IBM 650 or a VIC-20 hidden behind the facade of a modern life support machine? I sure as Hell wouldn't but still, we use a 183 year old device that runs on the remains of 2 million year old animals.
Why can't we use something new and innovative? Nuclear fission is a sort of new technology, although a benign car accident could probably destroy a medium sized city. It would solve not only the fossil fuel crisis, but also overpopulation. It's a two for one! And I'm sure a small amount of radioactive material could power a car for a few hundred thousand miles. But then in roughly 250,000 years we'd be facing a nuclear fuel crisis and I'll have to write an all new article.
Electromagnetic convection between newly placed devices in our roads and our cars may also be a viable solution. The electricity would travel in a wave from the road to our cars and because it doesn't require contact between the devices, it's future car compliant. Very few people would be hurt every year from the energy emanating from the road and refueling stations would be completely eliminated. But unless we keep high capacity batteries in our cars there would be no off-roading and a block in the powergrid could cause unnecessary potentially permanent traffic jams.
Hydrogen cells look pretty good; they make energy from a renewable resource without actually destroying it, have high energy conversion efficiency, and have no moving parts and therefore near 95% reliability. Hydrogen to be used as fuel in these cells can be easily and safely made on-site at a refilling station requiring nothing but water and electricity, cutting out oil fields, pipes, trucks, drivers, and that 500% markup. But I guess it really is unamerican to make electricity from the most common substance on the planet (water) whose only byproduct is harmless steam (also water).
Article by Rich Moore
Why can't we use something new and innovative? Nuclear fission is a sort of new technology, although a benign car accident could probably destroy a medium sized city. It would solve not only the fossil fuel crisis, but also overpopulation. It's a two for one! And I'm sure a small amount of radioactive material could power a car for a few hundred thousand miles. But then in roughly 250,000 years we'd be facing a nuclear fuel crisis and I'll have to write an all new article.
Electromagnetic convection between newly placed devices in our roads and our cars may also be a viable solution. The electricity would travel in a wave from the road to our cars and because it doesn't require contact between the devices, it's future car compliant. Very few people would be hurt every year from the energy emanating from the road and refueling stations would be completely eliminated. But unless we keep high capacity batteries in our cars there would be no off-roading and a block in the powergrid could cause unnecessary potentially permanent traffic jams.
Hydrogen cells look pretty good; they make energy from a renewable resource without actually destroying it, have high energy conversion efficiency, and have no moving parts and therefore near 95% reliability. Hydrogen to be used as fuel in these cells can be easily and safely made on-site at a refilling station requiring nothing but water and electricity, cutting out oil fields, pipes, trucks, drivers, and that 500% markup. But I guess it really is unamerican to make electricity from the most common substance on the planet (water) whose only byproduct is harmless steam (also water).
Article by Rich Moore
Monday, October 23, 2006
Happy Birthday iPod
I've said a lot of bitter things about the iPod in the past, criticizing the venerability of moving parts and theoretical problems that could occur during regular use of the product. I apologize to Apple and all of it's loyal "followers" for everything I said. I was out of line. However, it was on this day five years ago that Apple first announced the original 5 GB iPod, and problems continue to appear.
The soft shiny plastic covering the iPod, the Nano, and the shuffle scratches far to easily for the device to be used outside of a protective case. But the protective case hides the beauty of the iPod, making it just another crap covered digital audio device. How hard can it possibly be to make the outer case a little bit tougher?
It's a bitch to get it to work with an iTunes incompatible operating system, such as, oh say, Linux. I don't have a Mac or a Windows PC. Am I screwed. Yes, unless I want to do this. I don't want to do that. I want to plug it in and copy music to it. That's all.
The iTunes DRM is stupid. Do I really need to say more?
It's just not cool to own an iPod anymore because everybody has one. You can see those crappy white earbuds everywhere you go. It's not much of a status symbol anymore and something new is going to come along as the next big thing. Maybe it'll be the Zune or maybe it'll be something else. We don't really know.
Article by Rich Moore
The soft shiny plastic covering the iPod, the Nano, and the shuffle scratches far to easily for the device to be used outside of a protective case. But the protective case hides the beauty of the iPod, making it just another crap covered digital audio device. How hard can it possibly be to make the outer case a little bit tougher?
It's a bitch to get it to work with an iTunes incompatible operating system, such as, oh say, Linux. I don't have a Mac or a Windows PC. Am I screwed. Yes, unless I want to do this. I don't want to do that. I want to plug it in and copy music to it. That's all.
The iTunes DRM is stupid. Do I really need to say more?
It's just not cool to own an iPod anymore because everybody has one. You can see those crappy white earbuds everywhere you go. It's not much of a status symbol anymore and something new is going to come along as the next big thing. Maybe it'll be the Zune or maybe it'll be something else. We don't really know.
Article by Rich Moore
Sunday, October 22, 2006
An Irony of Blogs
I don't think most people realize just how outdated blogs are. Blogging started 1994 and even though the medium has evolved greatly over the last 12 years, more modern forms of mass communication are being greatly overlooked. It's nearly impossible to convey emotion in written text, but if you simply stick your head out your office window and yell people will pick up on your intent of your message. This is because the tone of someone's voice is an important factor in communication.
Of course, podcasting could prove a much better alternative if your target audience lies outside of your building. However, even though podcasts are relatively new, and they allow much better communication, they still lack a fundamental element. 90% of human communication is conveyed in body language. After all, you can't give someone the finger with text or audio alone.
That's why videocasting (vloging, video blogging, etc.) has become more popular. Not only do videocasts accurately convey a sense of emotion; they capture nearly all non verbal communication. Most people nowadays have suitable video capturing devices built into their computers, digicams, phones and other devices and decent Internet connections, which would make this the ideal medium if only there wasn't one small problem.
Successful communication requires two way interaction. In the time it takes for a video to be processed, uploaded, and viewed a large number of things can change. By the time someone responds to a videocast, either by text or with another video, the issue may be moot. Which brings me to the point. Ironically, the best known method of communication is one of the oldest: one on one conversation. You may not reach a lot of people this way, but the message will be perfectly preserved.
Article by Rich Moore
Of course, podcasting could prove a much better alternative if your target audience lies outside of your building. However, even though podcasts are relatively new, and they allow much better communication, they still lack a fundamental element. 90% of human communication is conveyed in body language. After all, you can't give someone the finger with text or audio alone.
That's why videocasting (vloging, video blogging, etc.) has become more popular. Not only do videocasts accurately convey a sense of emotion; they capture nearly all non verbal communication. Most people nowadays have suitable video capturing devices built into their computers, digicams, phones and other devices and decent Internet connections, which would make this the ideal medium if only there wasn't one small problem.
Successful communication requires two way interaction. In the time it takes for a video to be processed, uploaded, and viewed a large number of things can change. By the time someone responds to a videocast, either by text or with another video, the issue may be moot. Which brings me to the point. Ironically, the best known method of communication is one of the oldest: one on one conversation. You may not reach a lot of people this way, but the message will be perfectly preserved.
Article by Rich Moore
Friday, October 20, 2006
Hack That
If you're trying to break into a computer with a program you downloaded off the Internet you're a script kiddie. You've probably never written a line of code in your life and have no idea how the Internet even works. If you've made a fake myspace profile to gather users' information you're a phisher. You're not even a good one because you didn't write the code on the profile yourself, did you? If you convinced someone to tell you their username and password, you're either a social engineer or they're really stupid, depending on the circumstances. If you target a random computer on the Internet to break into and cause harm you're a cracker. If you download proprietary software from the Internet, decompile, modify, and rerelease it, you're a reverse engineer.
How can people be so stupid that they actually have mad skills when they can barely run Windows? If I hear one more person call themselves a hacker or tell me they "hacked someone" I'm going to take their computer and break it into a hundred million smaller pieces. They don't deserve to own a computer. That is, unless they are a genuine hacker. Then I'd be moderately impressed. Otherwise, please shut up.
Article by Rich Moore
How can people be so stupid that they actually have mad skills when they can barely run Windows? If I hear one more person call themselves a hacker or tell me they "hacked someone" I'm going to take their computer and break it into a hundred million smaller pieces. They don't deserve to own a computer. That is, unless they are a genuine hacker. Then I'd be moderately impressed. Otherwise, please shut up.
Article by Rich Moore
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Confire
The 70’s are back, or at least the hair. Straighteners are a girls best friend. All the girls I have met have at least one straighter in their house. In fact in my house now we have four. Three work and one is temporarily out of order. I love mine, in fact mine is the cheapest but works the best. It doesn’t dry your hair out which is a must when you use it everyday. But there are some little problems with my Conair straightener; it catches on fire. I know it's kind of a big deal when it's in flames but it is the cheapest one out there. You can pay $150 for a Pink Chi but for only $20 you can get a Conair and it does the same thing. Granted 7 months later you will most likely have to put it out with a fire extinguisher, you will just have to figure out what your priorities are. There are just a few warnings I would like to share with everyone in my case.
1. NEVER leave it unattended. You will be really pissed off if your bathroom catches on fire because you were too lazy to watch it.
2. Don’t use it unless you need it. Forget touchups because it just shortens the 7 months.
3. Don’t apply to hair. I know how can you use it? Well all I can say is figure it out. Not only is it not attractive when the straightener melts your hair, it stinks and the smell doesn't leave for a few hours but also it is known to cause blisters if it catches on fire while straightening the hair.
4. Throw away and buy a new one after 7 months, maybe 6 months just to be careful.
I wrote the company and asked them how many of their products catches on fire and I didn’t get a reply. But all in all I say buy Conair products just use my warnings and all will be ok. Oh and if you get burnt use Dermoplast spray (benzocaine 20%, menthol .5%) for the pain.
Article by Stephanie Weeks
1. NEVER leave it unattended. You will be really pissed off if your bathroom catches on fire because you were too lazy to watch it.
2. Don’t use it unless you need it. Forget touchups because it just shortens the 7 months.
3. Don’t apply to hair. I know how can you use it? Well all I can say is figure it out. Not only is it not attractive when the straightener melts your hair, it stinks and the smell doesn't leave for a few hours but also it is known to cause blisters if it catches on fire while straightening the hair.
4. Throw away and buy a new one after 7 months, maybe 6 months just to be careful.
I wrote the company and asked them how many of their products catches on fire and I didn’t get a reply. But all in all I say buy Conair products just use my warnings and all will be ok. Oh and if you get burnt use Dermoplast spray (benzocaine 20%, menthol .5%) for the pain.
Article by Stephanie Weeks
A Cliched Proposal
I've been hearing a lot about car accidents recently and it's made me think. Most of the times that have I cause a car (or go-kart) accident, I'm being moderately responsible. Most accidents that I'm not involved in are caused by irresponsibility of some kind whether it be drinking, putting on makeup, or reading a Michael Crichton novel while driving. The truth is that most people are completely incompetent behind the wheel. That's why I think we should completely rid our towns of cars and come up with a more appropriate solution: an infinitely complex web of single car trams.
We could remove all the roads that are constantly being worked on and lay down durable track that would allow trams to use the entire existing infrastructure. Just jump on a train that's going in the right way and hope it continues to do so. When it starts going the wrong way, jump off and catch another one. It would completely eliminate vehicle theft and all of the trams could be controlled from a central computer eliminating, or at least reducing the number of transportation related fatalities.
There would be drawbacks of course; since the trams would be electrically powered, our power grid would have to work doubletime and we'd end up burning more coal, or processing more uranium at our local powerplants. Still, the carbon monoxide reduced from the obsolescence of car emissions would more than make up for the increase in other greenhouse gases and possible 'unrequested fission surplus events.' Also, because the system would be controlled by a computer, we'd be at the mercy of crackers because as we all know, there is no such thing as a secure computer.
But I think this could be the best solution to an ever increasing problem. I'd really like to see this dream become reality. Write your congressman. Help me change the world, one tram at a time. Just don't touch the middle rail. It's electrified.
Article by Rich Moore
We could remove all the roads that are constantly being worked on and lay down durable track that would allow trams to use the entire existing infrastructure. Just jump on a train that's going in the right way and hope it continues to do so. When it starts going the wrong way, jump off and catch another one. It would completely eliminate vehicle theft and all of the trams could be controlled from a central computer eliminating, or at least reducing the number of transportation related fatalities.
There would be drawbacks of course; since the trams would be electrically powered, our power grid would have to work doubletime and we'd end up burning more coal, or processing more uranium at our local powerplants. Still, the carbon monoxide reduced from the obsolescence of car emissions would more than make up for the increase in other greenhouse gases and possible 'unrequested fission surplus events.' Also, because the system would be controlled by a computer, we'd be at the mercy of crackers because as we all know, there is no such thing as a secure computer.
But I think this could be the best solution to an ever increasing problem. I'd really like to see this dream become reality. Write your congressman. Help me change the world, one tram at a time. Just don't touch the middle rail. It's electrified.
Article by Rich Moore
Monday, October 16, 2006
The Magic Diet Pill
We all have got sucked into one of those annoying infomercials and how this one pill will change your life forever, and you will never suffer from being hungry again. And as always you will hear these awesome success stories on how someone will go and loose 30-150lbs from just a few weeks to a year. The women or men sitting and talking about how this “Magic Diet Pill” changed their life of course they all look like models. It would not be convincing if they had a bunch of obese people talking about the diet pill, giving the viewing audience a preview of what this pill could do for you. Now someone with brains will watch this and think there is no way they lost all that weight and show no signs of flabby skin and stretch marks. While the smart person changes the channel because it sounds like a bunch of bull shit, the obese, easily convinced person would already be stumbling to find their credit card. What these type of people don't realize is it is all just a way to get their money. The people that are being interviewed don't have success stories they are just damn lucky that they have good genetic makeup. There is no visible flabby, stretch mark looking skin, they were never obese to begin with. Instead of realizing that there is no pill that will make you skinny, there are still people that are ordering the largest quantity that they can get because it is a, “Special value for one low price!”, and the more pills they have the more weight they can loose. In the end they will realize that they just waisted $100.00 on nothing. Remember, there is no pill that you can take and eat as much as you want and loose weight at the same time. The only way to a successful diet is to eat healthy and exercise . But for those of you who think that's to hard there is always the “Magic Diet Pill”.
Article by Erika Clark
Article by Erika Clark
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Eggdisk: Storage Solution or Savior?
Recently I've been using a little known service called eggdisk to store and share my files. Once you get past the lousy interface, the horrendous support forum, the ridiculous amount of Google Ads, the less than stellar download speeds, the awkward permission system, and occasionally being asked to advertise it's actually a pretty great service. You can upload files up to 150 MB and stick all of your documents in a zip file to be automatically extracted (or kept in it's original compressed format). Upload speeds seem good, although I'm pretty impatient and would rather have it be instantaneous. Once you've added a file you can rename and move it from folder to folder with minimal effort and without changing the linking URL, a pretty good deal if you post your media to other sites. There are multiple levels of privacy, some of which require people to log into the system to retrieve files, while others allow anyone to download either by browsing your profile or, the most useful setting, entering the URL you gave them (or posted on a web page). Oh yeah, did I mention the free 6 GB of storage and the 30 GB monthly transfer? Free. As in not costing any money. I give it a 4.85253 out of 5.
Article by Rich Moore
Article by Rich Moore
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Hardcore Gamer?
If you think that you are a hardcore gamer you may be in for a rude awakening. Many may believe that if you throw some money into an “awesome” system, and you play it every once in a while, they are a hardcore gamer. Since they fell that they are hardcore they go and make themselves look like dumb asses by buying video game related apparel. And when a true gamer sees this, they are nothing more than a mere walking joke. If you really are hardcore you can wear those types of things and be respected be fellow hardcore gamers. Ok so you still think your hardcore? Well let's clarify things up for those who are wondering who they really are; if you are a hardcore gamer you will go with little or no sleep just because you cannot put the controller down. You more than likely be late on rent or be broke because you decided to put your entire pay check into the Xbox 360 the day it came out. Or when you cannot go to bed on time because all you want to do is get to the next level, and the next, and then next, even though you know that you will be paying for it in the morning. Whereas your average everyday gamer would realize that they are tired and have to go to school or work, and shut off whatever sports game they are playing without saving. Also on a beautiful warm sunny day your average gamer might want to go outside and enjoy the day as much as they can before dark. Where the mindset of a hardcore gamer would be, “Hey it's kinda nice out, this makes for some great video game playing.”. Ok, after reading this you should better understand what category you fall into, hardcore gamer or not, but if your still not convinced here are something you should ask yourself. Would you wait in line for 10 hours through any weather extreme just for Halo 2? Or would you rather wait a few months after the game came out, and wait to but it used for half the price because you would never pay the full price on any game. Would you ever skip school or work because you wanted to play video games, or would you skip school or work to hang out with your friends to go out driving around? Did you build your computer solely for gaming, or did you build it because you wanted to feel cool? And finally did you ever have the argument with your friends on what makes a hardcore gamer? Hopefully this has been a help for those of you who have wondered who you truly are. Remember be yourself and never try and be something your not.
Article by Erika Clark
Article by Erika Clark
Wake Up!
CLICK FOR FULL SIZED IMAGE
This poster is modeled after an MPAA anti-piracy poster
I saw on Digg. The original poster is filled with misinformation
and flat out lies, so I thought I'd make my own and try something
new, telling the truth. The fact is that getting your wallet and/or
credit card stolen at a store is a much greater risk than getting
caught pirating music, getting a virus, or allowing hackers to
see your financial information when uploading music onto P2P
sites. And Sony's rootkit (I know that it's been fixed now) is the
worst case of punishing loyal customers that I've ever seen.
Image by Rich Moore
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