A Poor Excuse

I know I've neglected this place for a few months, but there's good reason behind it:

1. I'm lazy and entertaining people is a pain in the ass. Every time I say something funny someone gets offended, and I don't want that so I try to limit what I say. After I strip all the offensive material from the articles there's nothing left but empty words and broken dreams. But I've devised a simple solution to this: If you don't like what I say, close the tab (or window), shut down your computer and never connect to the Internet again.

2. I tend to procrastinate about everything. I even made another blog about it, but I hardly post there anymore. When I wake up in the morning I think "I should write an article for Rich Magazine" but my hands say "Let's play San Andreas!" They usually win. The solution for this: I bought one of those electric dog collars that I wear.....um somewhere very sensitive and every time I play GTA or Diablo instead of working I administer a violent shock. I'll admit I liked it at first, but after the 30th time, it really hurts.

3. No one is contributing! I know Dan is (or at least was) working on a story, which sounded really good, and Erika promised to send me something a while back. Some other friends also promised to write, but haven't. I haven't really gotten back to any of them though, and I don't really give people a lot incentive to write. The solution to this: Free um, uh, stuff to everyone who writes a good article!*

4. I have self diagnosed social anxiety disorder. I can't even go hang out with some friends because I panic and obsess over what they think of me. (For those people who always ask why I never hang around with them, this is why) Believe it or not, Rich Magazine is a social place, with the feedback and not, and it makes me terribly nervous. I'm terrified of letting people know who I am because most of them are going to be douche bags and throw me out eventually and I don't like the concept. I don't really have a solution for this. I just have to get over it.

I hope that cleared up some things.



* "Free stuff" includes and is limited to your choice of a hug or handshake, belly button lint, a phone or IM conversation, a glass of water, a pat on the back, a handful of pennies, a slice of month old pizza, an official Rich Moore autograph, or a tarot card reading.

Article by Rich Moore